My house has always been a little messy, and clutter was just part of everyday life growing up, so it never really bothered me.
As a busy mom now, managing a messy home feels different. The endless piles, scattered toys, and overflowing counters drain my focus and energy in ways I never expected. My husband is very organized, which makes the contrast even more obvious. But over time, I have learned some surprising tricks from him and his family that have helped me bring a little more order into our chaos.
I sometimes wonder if it is just the challenge of family life or if my brain, maybe with a few ADHD-like traits, struggles more with clutter and organization than most. Whatever the reason, finding calm amid the mess has become a daily challenge I am learning to manage one small habit at a time.
Kids = Automatic Mess Machines
Before we even get to ADHD, let’s be real: kids are professional spreaders of chaos.
- Blocks in the hallway.
- Glitter in the sofa cushions.
- A sock that no one admits belongs to them.
Mess isn’t just random clutter—it’s usually the side effect of growth, play, and imagination. A messy playroom can actually mean your child is learning, exploring, and creating.
ADHD Moms + Mess = Double the Noise
For moms with ADHD, mess hits differently:
- Executive function overload: “Clean the playroom” isn’t one task, it’s 27 mini-tasks, and that’s exhausting before you even start.
- Out of sight, out of mind: If toys are shoved in a corner, they might as well not exist—until you trip over them at 10 p.m.
- The guilt spiral: “Why can’t I just keep it tidy like other moms?” That thought weighs more than the pile of laundry.
It’s not laziness. It’s wiring.
Can One Organized Person Change the Story?
Short answer: yes. But not in the “one person cleans everything” way (that only builds resentment).
The magic is when one organized person:
- Sets anchors (like a bin by the door for shoes).
- Creates lazy-proof systems (one giant toy basket instead of 12 little categories).
- Helps reduce decision fatigue (“all laundry goes in this basket—done”).
They don’t do all the work—they make the rules of the game easier for everyone to play.
Tiny Shifts That Help (Without Needing a Home Makeover)
- Five-minute resets: Quick tidies before meals or bedtime prevent overwhelming piles.
- Declutter often: Less stuff = less mess to manage.
- Visual reminders: Clear bins, labels, or checklists mean less mental load.
- Compassion first: A messy house doesn’t mean a failing parent.
Clutter Control Tips for ADHD Moms
- The “One-Touch” Rule (Modified): Try to handle things once—mail goes straight into a tray, dishes straight into the dishwasher, jackets onto hooks. If you can’t do it all, at least create a halfway spot (like a mail basket) so it doesn’t spread.
- Five-Minute Family Reset
Set a timer, blast a song, and everyone cleans for 5 minutes before dinner or bedtime. ADHD brains need urgency + fun to kickstart action. - Hooks Over Hangers: Hangers require too many steps. Wall hooks or over-the-door hooks make it easier to hang jackets, bags, or scarves quickly.
- See-Through Storage: Clear bins beat opaque ones. If you can’t see it, your brain forgets it exists (until you buy duplicates).
- Color-Coded Zones: Assign colors to categories—green basket = cleaning supplies, blue = toys, red = “fix later” items. Your brain will start to associate the color with the job.
- The “Landing Zone”: Have a small tray or basket near the door for keys, wallet, phone, sunglasses. ADHD brains need one consistent drop spot.
- Stash Cleaning Wipes Everywhere: A pack in the bathroom, bedroom, car. Quick wipes are more likely to get used than a full cleaning routine.
- Use Alarms for Declutter Sprints: A 10-minute phone timer makes tidying less overwhelming. Pair it with music or a podcast to make it more bearable.
- Vertical Storage Wins: Wall shelves, pegboards, and hanging organizers free up floor space and make things visible.
- No-Lid Containers for Kid Gear
Boots in an open tray, art supplies in an open bin, mittens in a basket. Lids = friction, friction = piles on the floor. - The “Maybe Box”: If you’re not sure whether to keep something, throw it into a “maybe box.” Revisit it once a month—if you haven’t needed it, out it goes.
- Micro-Homes for Stuff: Instead of one giant rule (“all toys in the toy chest”), give items micro-homes: one basket for Legos, one drawer for art supplies. It helps your brain know where to start putting things back.
- The “Car Kit”
Keep a small box in your car with wipes, spare clothes, and snacks. Cuts down the frantic packing/forgetting cycle that ADHD makes worse. - Duplicate Essentials
Have extra scissors, chargers, and hair ties in multiple spots. ADHD moms don’t need the stress of hunting down the “one and only.” - Automate Decluttering Reminders: Set recurring reminders on your phone (weekly or monthly) for a quick “trash bag sweep.” It helps stop buildup before it explodes.
- Night-Before Reset (Micro Version)
Don’t aim for a perfect clean house. Just clear the kitchen counter or the entryway before bed. Waking up to one calm spot makes mornings less overwhelming. - Outsource to Kids (Imperfectly)
Your kids can help, even if it’s messy help. Teach them early: socks in the basket, toys in the bin, trash in the can. The goal is less on your plate, not magazine-ready neatness.
Click here for my favorite amazon.com products and tips for storing and organizing all of my kids’ stuff – toys, clothes, books what not.
The Real Takeaway
Mess is part of family life. ADHD makes it harder to manage. And yes, one organized person can help shift the story—but only if systems are simple, realistic, and shared.
So instead of chasing a spotless home, maybe the goal is this: a home that’s just organized enough that everyone can breathe, laugh, and not cry over spilled Legos.
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