Mothers are often described as the most selfless beings on earth. We do sacrifice sleep, comfort, and even personal dreams to nurture our children.

But when I think back to my own childhood, I see a different kind of selflessness. I wasn’t just the child who shared — I gave away my best things, forgave easily, and even diminished myself so others could shine brighter. That felt natural to me back then.

And yet, motherhood flipped that instinct on its head. Today, I can’t imagine letting my child step back. I want them to have the best seat, the warmest love, the brightest spotlight. It’s almost ironic: the girl who once gave away everything for others now guards everything fiercely for her child.

That’s when I realized — maybe mothers aren’t truly selfless. Maybe we’re just beautifully selfish, but only when it comes to our children.

The Mother’s Paradox: Giving Up Everything Yet Wanting Everything for Her Child

A mother’s love can be seen as the purest form of selfishness.

• She doesn’t just want food for her child — she wants the best food.
• She doesn’t just want her child to do well — she wants them to shine brighter than the rest.
• She doesn’t just protect — she guards fiercely, sometimes even irrationally.

From the outside, this might look like obsession. From the inside, it feels like instinct.

This is the paradox of motherhood:
A mom gives up everything for her child, yet wants everything for her child at the same time. It’s selfishness, but not the kind we criticize. It’s the kind driven by unconditional love — the kind that ensures her child eats first, sleeps warm, and walks into the world with confidence.

How to Channel a Mother’s “Selfishness” in Positive Ways

1. Balance Protection with Independence

Wanting the best for your child doesn’t mean solving every problem for them. Sometimes the greatest gift is letting them figure things out, even if they stumble.
👉 Tip: Guide them with advice, but let them experience the small struggles that build resilience.

2. Avoid Falling Into Comparisons

“My child should be the best” can easily turn into comparing them with others. This not only pressures kids but also steals their joy.
👉 Tip: Celebrate your child’s individuality — their quirks, talents, and even weaknesses.

3. Remember Self-Care Isn’t the Opposite of Good Parenting

Many moms put themselves last, believing that’s what love looks like. But a burnt-out mom can’t give her best.
👉 Tip: A little “selfishness” for yourself — rest, hobbies, friendships — actually makes you a stronger, more patient parent.

4. Teach Gratitude Alongside Giving

Wanting the best is beautiful, but it’s equally important to teach children to appreciate it.
👉 Tip: Involve them in conversations about effort, hard work, and gratitude so they don’t take blessings for granted.

So maybe mothers aren’t truly selfless after all. Maybe they are unapologetically selfish — but only when it comes to the little lives they brought into this world.

And maybe that’s not a flaw, but a strength. A kind of selfishness that protects, nurtures, and gives children the best start in life — while reminding moms that they, too, deserve love and care.